Becoming "Worse Off Than Before"

I admit it, I have not spent time on the internet long enough to make a decent post in this blog of mine. And to tell you all honestly, I haven't spent time reading my bible long enough lately to keep my soul well fed and able to share a thought with you. It's been a while, really, since I've spent time with the Lord in prayer and meditation. I confess I've been complacent and stubborn altogether.

When a christian's life become swallowed up in a routine of Sunday-going and 5-minute daily Bible devotionals, there's a very good reason for a need to stop and think about where one stand before God with all this. Most of us believe since the day we "received" Christ in our lives that everything fell into place. It's truly a sad state when we would consider ourselves "filled with the grace of God" and not see any fruits in our lives at all. For years, people would profess to be "Believers" of God but never really move from spiritual infancy to adulthood. A prayer here and there and a bible study session every now and then doesn't make us into mature Christians. There's more to being a follower of Christ than just the mundane stuff most of us do in His name. I know I am guilty of this one because for such a long time I've been professing that I am Christ's follower but every now and then I find myself sliding back into a state of numbness and stoicalness that leave me unmoved by unholiness. 

The bible tells us this in 2 Peter 2:20: 

"For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first." (ESV)

I have to say, I should be doing a second and a third check on myself regarding this one. I find myself entangled with unholiness (STILL) these days. Not that I commit the grave sin of murdering someone, but then again, Jesus himself said that if we have anger towards our brethren it is equal to murdering them! I am still guilty of practicing murder then with my bad temper. Not to mention my being critical of others, or my impatience towards my children's learning process, and even the lack of heart for unsaved souls! I still miss a number of tithing opportunities, and miss a whole lot of bible study lessons, including some good (and necessary) prayer meetings. There's so much unholiness still in me that I fear that if you stand close enough to me you would still smell, see, and experience the world in me. I still have not been set apart. I have remained a christian babe... God forbid, I do not want to be on the verge of becoming worse than before!


What difference does it make if I clap my hands while singing a lively praise song in church, or cry and get emotional every now and then when a good worship song is played, yet live a life so like the rest of the world? It doesn't make me a christian and a genuine "follower" of Jesus Christ if I pray during difficult and trying times or call out His name when I'm in trouble. Even non-believers cry out "Lord, Lord!" to Him in desperate times! (and even though He would cast them away as "doers of iniquity" in the end.) 


We teach our children to pray before their meals and to pray before they go to bed. But is that the best we can do?! Heavens! They still see us with our striving for worldly gains and our discontentment and yearning for more, so much more than what God has blessed us with. We teach our children that filthy and wretched idea that having a whole lot of "stuff" we like in our lives and having good and perfect health is an equivalent to being blessed by God in this lifetime! We get drunk with the idea of God as our Provider and never get sober or past that at all!!! We have all been swallowed up by the passion of running after the things of this world rather than the riches that are in Christ!!!

Oh, that our eyes may be opened and that our hearts be struck through and through by the double-edged sword of God! I do pray that God will grant me a 360 degrees turning and focusing into holiness just as He commanded us to "Imitate Him". I would love to know in the end that the legacy I have left in my children's lives is not the many properties or monies we have accumulated over the years, nor the skills and the knowledge that comes with the degrees they received from colleges and universities, but the legacy of a life lived for Christ and Him alone. This I pray that we would all take into heart. 


Here's a video I'd like to share to all of you... I do pray that God will give me a change of heart to be able to love more, sacrifice more and grieve and do more for the lost - for His kingdom's cause... for the only reason of glorifying Christ.


Be blessed...

To Sacrifice & To Love More....