As a believer, I have always convinced myself that for as long as I would have Christ with me I will never tire, I will never be exhausted in my journey. I have always been told and have always believed that Christ will be the source of my strength every time I take a step through the fiery furnace. So when I watched myself spiral into depression, feeling so exhausted from all the struggles and battles I've been through, I began to play with the thoughts that I have failed to become a testimony of my Jesus Christ.
The moment I decided to raise up my hands in surrender, to stop and rest, the entire world raised the question "How could I?" Well, okay, it's not really the entire world but there were some who questioned my decision and some condemned it. How could I quit my job so suddenly when I knew that my family in the Philippines needed money for their expenses? How could I quit my job and decide to give myself a little vacation when I know the financial stability back home is a crucial factor to consider? How could I quit my job so suddenly, as a christian at that, just because I have felt too exhausted? How could I not have given it one more push for the sake of my family? All these things were probably among the questions raised at the back of the minds of people who knew about my situation. As I started to question my decision and feeling guilty about it too, God reached out to me so quickly and introduced me to a new light of the time spent by some of David's men at the brook of Besor.
The story in 1 Samuel 30 was such a timely one for me as God reminded me that it's okay to feel exhausted, much more to take some rest. 200 men stayed behind the brook called Besor when David and the rest went on a rescue mission against the Amalekites to bring their kidnapped families back to them. When they succeeded with the mission and came back to brook Besor, David did not condemn the 200 for staying behind. He understood that they were already too exhausted since all of them were weeping so loudly until they could no longer weep because of what happened. David didn't agree with those who said that the 200 shouldn't get any other share of the plunder except to receive back their wives and children. David still considered the 200 exhausted men who stayed relaxed by the brook of Besor as part of the victory they had over the Amalekites. It didn't matter if David fought for their wives and children while they were resting comfortably by the brook. He knew the importance of times of refreshing.
Jesus is like that for us too. He allows us times of refreshing. When we get to a point in life when we're too exhausted to move on because of the many things that have distressed us and we'd rather stay behind at the brook of Besor, Christ will not condemn us for doing so. He will lovingly allow us to stay behind and he will fight the battle for us!
God has led me to my brook of Besor at this time. He has led me to an uncle's house whose family opened up their doors to allow me to rest with them. They've been so blessed by God in their lives and God allowed them to share it with me at this time. I just stand amazed at how awesome God works in our lives. He does allow us to break in exhaustion but He also leads us to a brook to rest while He goes to fight our battles for us. So, if you are in that very state of exhaustion and you feel like you no longer have that "one more" ounce of energy to go on, don't despair. Let God lead you to the brook of Besor and enjoy rest there while He takes care of the rest. God is good all the time...
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and s learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)