My soul waits for God alone

There will always be a time in a believer's life when all the troubles that surround become too great to handle. There will be a time when every detail of this life we live just won't make sense and just won't allow the pieces to be fit. Questions and doubts will be raised and the mind runs wild with thoughts that just bear so much weight on the soul.

I am in such a state this week. Being away from my family is a hard situation to be in. Having to know that your children are sick and you cannot even be there to hug them through the night is torture. I know I have failed them once in a while when they were still with me and that I have taken them for granted but I just cannot ignore the fact that my inner most being long so much to run my hands on their heads and to hold them close while they're asleep. Ryan, my husband brought them to the beach today and he has mentioned that the kids had so much fun on the sand, and when he mentioned how they had their little feet wet with the sea my heart just melted. How I wish I could have watched them do that. How I wish I could have watched them smile and giggle and laugh and listen to them say "Look dad, look mom! My feet are wet and I've got sand on them!" It's really, really tough but I had to lift my head up to face all this because God has a reason for everything.

I personally decide to experience the greatest loneliness inside of me, the biggest fears, the deepest longings just so it would sink into me that nothing really could ever make everything ok unless I rest in the sovereignty of my God in all this! My soul waits for God alone... I know He has a plan and His ways are higher than mine. I take solace in the fact that I can fall before His throne tired and distraught but knowing that His love for me is so great and His love for me endures forever. He gives me peace that will transcend all my understanding of every detail in my life and I rest in the promise in scripture that my soul can wait for God and that all power belongs to Him.. I rest in Psalm 62 this week as I lay face flat on the ground and my body tired and weary...

Psalm 62

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from Him comes my salvation.

He only is my rock and my salvation, 

my fortress, I shall not be greatly shaken.

How long will all of you attack a man to batter him,

like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?

They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.

They take pleasure in falsehood.

They bless with their mouths, 

but inwardly they curse.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation, 

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people; 

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us.

Those of low estate are but a breath; 

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

they are together lighter than a breath.

Put no trust in extortion;

set no vain hopes on robbery;

if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this:

that power belongs to God,

and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.

For you will render to a man 

according to his work.